Family, finances and relationships can these go together? In my opinion these 3 things cannot be in harmony. It is an area which needs to be managed very well. There are some things which do not mix for instance petrol and fire. We know what happens if you mix these two right, it causes an explosion which will destroy everything.
If you want to maintain great relationships with your family, please do not mix family and money. If you have to mix these, you should have a strategy for handling these. I will share some tips later.
I come from a background where we help each other out and I think this is a great thing. However, because we were raised under one roof we all have similar mindsets.
Our mother taught us to be independent and content with what we have. She taught us to work for the things we want in life and wait because one day our hard work will pay off.
Our mother always encouraged us to buy houses once we start working. She believed in marriage but she didn’t think we have to wait for marriage to own assets. So we grew up with this mindset of being complete and capable on our own. Mum was good at putting money aside, so we got those money skills from her.
I must say there is joy in reaping the fruits of your hard labour do not allow other people to make you feel bad because you made it.
I am writing this blog post because I had traveled over the festive season to be with my family. I love them so much and wouldn’t want anything to come between us. Then I thought why do people allow finances to tear their families apart.
Some family relationships have broken because of money which is so sad. In my view having a family is something so special. I value relationships so I like to be wise in how I deal with finances and family. I suggest the following tips:
Always consider the individual person’s credit record and character.
There some people whom you and I know they can be trusted and they are some who cannot be. So, if lending money to someone who cannot be trusted just tell yourself in your heart that you will be alright even if they do not pay you back. Be prepared to write it off to bad debts.
For me if it is just someone I know, who is not a family member, that is a different issue because I can demand my money. I have had people disappoint me but it never left a dent in me. The reason being that there are not in my life forever. People move on however when it comes to family, family is for life.
When I used to live in the UK I used to see many people sending money to their home country with the intention of investing in assets for instance buying houses. Some of these houses were never built or bought but no one can explain where the money went. Family relationships were destroyed because of money.
So if you want to invest in property in your home country, save some money travel there yourself, buy your property and put in through estate agents to manage it.
If someone is always borrowing money from you!!
Then they have a money management problem. Teach them how to handle money and how to budget. If they keep on borrowing and not paying back tell them to go borrow from the bank where they will pay interest. Otherwise always lending them money without interest will make them never learn to handle money. This is hard to do especially when it comes to family, so watch out for emotionally blackmailing.
Do not fall for the manipulative stories
There are some people who will always think that your position is better than theirs to make you feel sorry for them. If you were all given the same opportunities do not fall for their stories. Remember we all make choices in what we want to do in life, how to live our lives. If you have worked hard to be where you are today, don’t feel guilty enjoy the results of your hard work. Those people need to learn to live within their means and not your means.
Business & Family or Friendships Do Not Mix
I will just add this though it is about friends. Years ago, when we left the UK, we allowed our friend from church to rent our house. We thought that since they were people we knew very well our house was going to be well looked after. We never increased the rent for the whole time we were there. Boy we were wrong, they messed up our house, defaulted in payments and told us stories about their inability to pay rent. When they left the house, we had learnt our lesson? We renovated the house and put it through estate agent for management. That was the best decision ever.
God chose the best sisters for me and I love them. I love my family.
So hope this article helped you to be wise when it comes to dealing with family and finances and maintaining great family relationships.